Nifty

If you aren't sure where a couple is registered, the knot has a search tool on its homepage. You can type in the name of one of the registrants and it will search all over. It picked up on our Bed Bath and Beyond but not the Amazon or MyRegistry.com. Still pretty cool though, and it had a lot of variations on spellings, so if you aren't sure how to spell the name you are probably still safe. My name, Kelly Merrill, also brought up registries for Kali Murrill and Kelle Morrill, for example. Judging by these alternate people, registries at Macy's, Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn, and Crate and Barrell will also pop up. Oh, apparently Amazon does pop up, but you have to click "view additional registries" on ours. 

The registry finder is sponsored by gifts.com and here are some interesting gifts I found there:

clocky, it jumps off your nightstand and hides if you don't get up the first time it goes off. How cute. It's in the top ten gift for women. ($60)

the Wilton giant cup cake mold. In top 10 gifts for women, but I also saw it on the amazon most registered for list, fairly high up. Really? Everyone wants to make giant cupcakes?

San Franciscan Elopement, Part 3

(We were just at the point in our saga when it was discovered that Garrett's driver's license was expired)

When someone finally came out to talk to us it was to tell us no. Nothing they could do, this kind of thing had happened before, they couldn't make exceptions, blah blah blah. Our only option was to make an appointment for the following day, have Garrett's passport overnighted, and try again. Garrett's parents were out of town and the passport was at their house so they had a neighbor get it for us and ship it off. I wasn't really satisfied, I'd put on a full-length wedding dress, Garrett's aunt had flown in from LA, Olivia was heading back to Chicago, Garrett's uncle and his best friend had taken off work and this wasn't repeatable for tomorrow.

I still wanted a ceremony. That day. Not to mention, my wedding invitations included an announcement that we would be getting married on August 13th! We weren't going to have them reprinted. Garrett had a tie on that said 13! I wasn't going to spend the rest of that day single, no way.

We had plans for lunch at 12:30 so we decided to head that way. I'd intended to change before lunch but we only had so much time after sitting in the City Hall for so long. So we made do and headed towards the piers where the restaurant was. We stopped in a wine shop and split a bottle of champagne between all of us, which definitely made the morning more bearable. I'm a lightweight, and two glasses was plenty enough to give me rose colored glasses.

(photography by olivia leigh photographie)

We would have our ceremony by the water! I looked up ceremony wording on google from my recently acquired blackberry and stumbled upon a forum where people posted their ceremony wordings. I skipped over the Klingon wedding (my sister would've been amused by it I'm sure) and ended up on Lyndsay and Rachel's ceremony:

Introduction - Ladies and gentlemen, to commence the ceremony i wish on behalf of lyndsay and rachel to welcome you all, and to say how pleased they are that you have come to share this happy and important occasion with them.

to take a husband or wife may be the greatest act of love that any of us will ever make. we do not choose the family into which we are born, nor even those that are born to us, but in choosing to share our lives with another we make a voluntarily act of love.

love can be one of the highest experiences that comes to humanking. at its best it reduces our selfishness, deepens out personalities and makes life far more meaningul. it is not to be entered into lightly but with certainty, with mutual respect and with a sense of reverence, which does not preclude beauty, humour or joy. We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of lyndsay and rachel. they have decided that they wish to share their love for each other, and their happiness, with those who are closest to them, during this ceremony.

The Asking (seperate) - lyndsay/rachel do you take rachel/lyndsay to be your wife/husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part. Response : I do as you stand before us, with your hands and hearts embraced, please affirm the vows you have chosen...

Vows - In the presence of our family and friends, I lyndsay/rachel take you rachel/lyndsay to be my wife/husband my partner in life and my one true love. i will cherish our union and love you more each day than i did the day before. i will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and in bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. i give you my hand, my heart and my love from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

Ring Ceremony - Introduction - “You are about to present a ring to each other. The wedding ring, a complete circle, is the symbol of the completeness a husband and wife find in a marriage relationship. The ring has no beginning and no end, just as true love is never-ending. The ring also is made of precious metals, just as true love is a precious treasure. As you place the wedding ring on each other’s hand, may it not only remind you of the endless love you possess for one another, but may it also be a reminder of the precious gift that has been given to make you complete.”

Exchanging of rings - i give you this ring as a symbol of my love with all that i have and all that i am. with this ring i gladly marry you and join my life to yours.

champagne=dancing.

That seemed acceptable to me, pretty standard, not too cheesy (we didn't write vows to each other, though I admire people that do, I think they would've turned out megacheesy, so this was a nice alternative). So we finished our champagne (they saved the label for us, I'm thinking I'll frame it) and headed outside.

We got what we asked for when we told Matt to officiate. Lucky for us Garrett's aunt was there to video, so we'll always be able to remember his asides (things like "for richer or poorer, most likely the latter"). I was sooo giggly and happy. I wasn't going to let legality ruin the day for me. And so it didn't.

I mean, really. Come on! Despite what the State of California believed I had just sworn myself to this gorgeous man in a beautiful outdoor ceremony (I always kind of wanted an outdoor ceremony, even) with an amazing photographer surrounded by friends.

The rest of the day was wonderful. We had a delicious lunch with a San Francisco family style meal at the Slanted Door (the tuna collar was amazing, so was some eggplant dish) and they gave us free dessert including macaroons, which I'd never tried!

When it was time to head back to our hotel a bicycle cart approached and Garrett's uncle insisted we ride it. Nothing draws more attention than a bride on a rickshaw. I enjoyed it though, little kids were especially excited and we're probably in a lot of peoples' vacation pictures. I got my dress dirty by accidentally letting it drag but it's not really noticeable and at that point I really didn't care.

We napped and stayed in all night, had room service delivered and the Four Seasons room service has the best french fries I've ever had, hands down. The room service phone attendant was extremely giddy and the room service delivery man referred to me as Mrs. Cummings, my new last name. It was really great.

But we still needed to get the government stamp of approval. Next stop, August 14th.

San Franciscan Elopement, II

Ahh, where were we? Olivia had just arrived, we finished getting ready, and we were off.

-I had Garrett wait in the bathroom while I put my dress on since he'd never seen it and I wanted to have that moment. Then, I tried to have him help me bustle it but the hook was all but invisible and I ended up taking the dress off, finding the bustle, and putting it back on. I was glad I practiced tying the sash before we got there, I was able to get a decent bow by myself and I really like the look of the sash.-

(all photos in this entry from olivia leigh photographie)

It was only about 5 blocks to the City Hall so we figured we would walk and get some pictures along the way. Little did I know one of my shoes was prone to slide off my foot (When I first got the shoes they were too tight but apparently my attempts at wearing them in had some negative side effects, and I need to buy some kind of inserts before our reception), so I was slow and annoyed.

I really wanted to walk there, though, so it wasn't until Garrett was attacked by a homeless man that we decided we should take a taxi. Yes, attacked by a homeless man. (I apologize for the lack of photographs, but I'm sure you'll understand). He grabbed at Garrett's neck, as if he was choking him, acted as if he was stabbing him in the neck, and shoved him into the street. And a cop was only a few feet away doing nothing. As Garrett's friend Matt said while we were there: "San Francisco is not for the faint of heart." That aspect of the day was really frustrating, we were waiting to cross a crosswalk and couldn't really get away from the situation.

We made it to the City Hall in the taxi and made our way the the clerk's office. We filled out our paperwork and brought it back up to the desk. We had to show our IDs, so I went first, a little nervous because I'd secretly worried that we were supposed to have brought our birth certificates or something. But the notice on the wall made me feel better, it just had to be a government issued ID. Check. Then Garrett. After looking over his the girl behind the counter (probably early 20s like us), said "Your license is expired."

Hahaha, April Fool's, right? I figured I must be having more nightmares. This made no sense whatsoever. I looked at his license, and sure enough it said 7-8-09 and it was 8-13-09. A little over a month. I pleaded. He had no idea his license had expired. Mine was from NC and didn't expire until 2011, so I hadn't even considered that his would've been. His mom hadn't mentioned a notice that his license was expiring, and I knew she would've. I could've kicked myself for not suggesting we bring our passports along. We had come all the way from Alabama and now we couldn't get married?

The girl asked her supervisor and he refused us, then asked his supervisor, a woman I tried to reason with. I said "Do you make copies of the IDs?" "No," she answered. "Okay, then what is the problem?" She had us wait outside while she thought about it. I'm surprised I didn't cry but I wasn't going to mess up my makeup and I was still hopeful. Garrett was very unhappy but I told him, it wasn't his fault. A few people have commented that they should've never let him on the plane, but I'm not really surprised. Only people with the power to or not to marry you are Nazis about such things, really. As if there was a doubt that the ID was real and that it was him. I was mad at Alabama for having licenses that expire so quickly, for not notifying him it had expired, and at the clerk's office for not bending on it.

The result? Up next.

Our San Fransiscan Elopement

Subtitle: Why people usually don't try to get married on the 13th.

All images are from Olivia Leigh Photographie

I couldn't sleep at all on the night before our wedding day. I had thought about getting flowers when we got to San Fransisco but it seemed like too much trouble (I can't get around the city at all) and I called the florist too late to get a delivery. It bothered me. I wanted a bouquet. And then I talked myself out of it (what's the point of a bouquet? I had fantasies about throwing it to a stranger post wedding, but outside of that I couldn't see the point. Plus, ranunculus was out of season and would've required 2 weeks in advance to order from Holland). I eventually got to sleep and had a nightmare about my mom making me wear some flower wreath around my neck. Ick.

I'd had some contact trouble the day before, maybe from the San Francisco air, maybe because I am a very irresponsible contact lens wearer. Either way, I had neglected to visit the eye doctor before we left and I had no more contacts. So, I tried putting my contacts in the morning of August 13th but the left one hurt so I left it out. I'd get married in one contact. Good thing I'd seen the groom before. I was NOT going to wear my glasses on the biggest day of my life. So what if I couldn't see.

I think our wake-up call was for 6:15 and Olivia (of Olivia Leigh Photographie) would be arriving around 7:45. I fixed my hair (I did it myself in a really simple updo. Remember Topsy Tails? Yeah, well, I made one of those (you don't need the fancy plastic piece for it, just your hands) and pinned the ponytail underneath the base of the ponytail. Then I wrapped a piece of hair around the ponytail holder. I'm not sure if I have a good picture of it, but I'll recreate and let you see sometime. I my makeup, Olivia arrived, and it was showtime.

Next up, "going to the chapel"

Near Heart Attack

GARRETT: DO NOT READ THIS POST

So, Garrett and I will be getting married in San Francisco this coming Thursday, at the city hall. I kind of wanted to surprise blog readers, but I think I'll leave that surprise for the EAD readers that don't follow dash pinch smidgen. Mainly so I can talk about the stress that comes with the idea of getting on a plane with my wedding dress in 3 days. And getting my hair dyed 1 day before we leave (2 days before the wedding). And how excited I am. 

But really, I wanted to divulge my near heart attack yesterday. Garrett and I went to a wedding for two of his friends from high school. When the bride walked down the aisle I went (in my head) "oh my god, that's my dress." Scalloped lace straight across neckline, strapless, lace gets sporadic, normal length train, sash (different color than mine, kind of). I was freaking out.

 I'm really not the kind of person to care about people wearing the same thing as me (at dinner before prom in 10th grade a girl was wearing the same dress at dinner but she was going to another school's prom and everyone tried to console me, saying "you look ten times better in it!" but I didn't care at all and it just made me feel sorry for the other girl. hopefully she didn't care either. and then senior year of high school I went to a formal at washington and lee -because I was considering going there- and there were TONS of people and two of us had the same dress. meh. who cares).

All that aside, Garrett hasn't seen my dress, and I didn't want him to see it 4 days before we got married on someone else. So I secretly hoped he wouldn't get a good glimpse, I thought about asking him if he liked her dress (heh heh, although, if he didn't, what then?), I thought about calling my girl friends and freaking out to them. 

I get over it during the ceremony a little bit, I was too focused on the fact my stupid stomach was growling and listening intently since we'll be making the same commitment very soon. Plus, what was I going to do about it?

So then, the bride and groom kiss, and walk out, past us, and I realise that no, it is not my dress. Oh, thank God. There were definitely similarities but Garrett probably didn't look close enough to even remember what her dress looked like. It turned out that the lace pattern was different, the fit of the top was  a little different (hers was a looser fabric and mine has some serious boning that means it's going nowhere), and the skirt was a little more a-line on hers, mine is a little bit mermaid/trumpet. Sigh of relief. 

That realization definitely made the reception better, if not the crabcakes and mimosas and cake. And the bride was as sweet as she could be and I met some of Garrett's high school friends that I hope will be able to make it to our reception in October. 

Oh, another funny note about the wedding...Garrett and I had considered having our wedding on August 8 (8-8, because his b-day is 7-7 and mine is 9-9) but the church was booked that day. Their wedding is the wedding that was booked. I'm glad my bridezilla-ness was over within the first few weeks of my engagement and now I can just laugh about it. 

Bridal Shower

our cake

This past weekend was my first (and probably only) bridal shower. Garrett's grandmother and her friends/relatives arranged it in the small rural town they live in here in Alabama. It reminded me a lot of my hometown, at least people-wise. Needham is a milltown and far more country than Princeton (my hometown) is now, but the feel is the same. Being from NC, my southern-ness is doubted being this far south, but I'll eat collards and that makes me southern enough for Garrett's grandmother at least. 

Garrett's mom & me

I didn't know most of the attendees of the shower and I don't think Garrett did either, but it was fun. I secretly (not so secretly if you know me) really like presents, and opening them, so getting 42 of them was really fun. 

me with one of many cake plates & Garrett's grandmother

We ended up with 4 cake plates, 2 hand mixers, a lot of towels, a toaster/convection oven, 2 sets of knives, a cupcake carrier (Garrett and I were really excited about that), waffle maker, fondue set (can't wait to use it, hopefully Lisa and Stacy -two of my best friends- can come enjoy with me), a Bama serving platter (roll tide!)...I thought we'd need to upgrade to a 2 bedroom apartment to accomodate the loot. And the wedding presents haven't even started yet.

Me with the hostesses

We had lots of food and Garrett's baby cousins were there to distract the women from focusing all of their attention on me (my how older women love babies!). I had a really good time and the only downside is that I'm already 42 behind in writing thank you notes and I'm not even married yet!

Help me pick my wedding lips!

Okay, here are the two choices. Both are Covergirl outlast and in the berry family. The first is timeless ruby, and it seems a bit more magenta/fuschia to me. The second is wine satin and it's a little more red. I know they aren't that different, but humor me. It's a big decision. 

 

pardon that dorky expression on the first face, I'm not a good photography subject and besides that, Garrett makes me laugh.

So, number 1 or number 2?

Oh, and stay tuned next week when I will hopefully have my hair dyed (eek!) something resembling my natural blonde color (which is very much alive in about half of my hair, and while I call it "golden blonde" it's a little bit brassy/dirty).

Man Rings

image from mondera.com

I'm not sure how to feel about the whole men wearing wedding rings deal. My dad has always worn his and my mom always wore her matching one, both plain yellow gold bands. I was actually pretty surprised to find out that women (now at least) tend to match their wedding band to their engagement rings, and that the husband's ring doesn't always match. I was probably just not that observant.

I think my thoughts on marriage have been greatly influenced by the people I grew up around and media. Thus, men wear rings if they are married, women look for the wedding ring when they are out hunting for men (this is where movies come in, and every conversation I ever had with another female about some adult male that is considered attractive), and men who don't want to wear a ring or who take their rings off are up to no good. I'm sure lots of men have gotten in trouble for wanting to look single for whatever reason, or forgetting to put their ring back on after some physical activity, or just not wanting to wear one.

This brings me to a personal question: why do I want to wear a ring? I'm really not sure. I know part of it is because they are so pretty (my e-ring is a permanent fixture on my hand at this point), because I like jewelry, and because it signifies to other people that I am getting married. Which might be because I like for people to ooh and ahh and ask questions, and because it's like an entry to the engaged club. I'm not saying I'm proud of the reasons, but they are there amongst the more noble ones. I never even thought about not having a ring. Partly because I do want people to know I'm taken. Women wear fake rings to ward off men they don't want to approach them, and it's kind of a polite signal when you are actually married (hey, don't bother, I'm married).

Does that mean that men think of it the same way? I don't think so. Some might, but for men who feel no need to wear a ring to be faithful to their women, or those who don't like jewelry, or those who just want you to trust them.... it's probably really frustrating to have someone urge them to wear one. Garrett's not crazy about the idea of a ring. His dad hasn't always worn one, and I don't know the reason for it because I didn't ask, but I'm aware now that not every married man does, and it doesn't mean they want to seem unmarried. Garrett has never worn jewelry and doesn't like anything artificial in or on his body anyway. He has contacts and a permanent retainer and both annoy him. He would never get a tattoo or piercing. So putting a ring on his finger is at the very least annoying.

image from wedding ring 101

He humored me at least a little and picked out a ring this weekend. It's a plain white gold band (and it will kind of match my ring in the sense that mine's white gold but mine is decorated with diamonds to match my e-ring). It has a comfort band, whatever that means. And it's exactly the same as his uncle's (they even got it at the same family-friend-owned jewelry store). I don't know if he'll want to wear it but I couldn't fathom the idea of there not being a ring exchange at the ceremony. I kind of feel like I'm silly to want him to wear one so bad.

Does anyone else have a fiancé who isn't fond of bling? And should I even care?